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Most of us have known someone at one time or another who we felt tended to drag us down, rain on our parade when we are happy about something, or make us feel bad for the good fortune in our lives. In many cases, the offender does not do so intentionally, but the effect is just the same. Of course, if someone is abusive, dangerous, or particularly toxic, getting that person out of our lives is the absolutely right thing to do, including seeking help to do so if necessary.

However, I have known a number of beautiful souls who tend to be very negative, often because they suffer emotionally, but who never intend to cause anyone pain or drag them down. It is often just a side effect of being so down themselves. Sometimes, we have someone in our lives who we care about, who is good person, but who we can hardly talk to without feeling like they have inadvertently burst our bubble, yet again, for no good reason other than the depression they may be struggling with. Sometimes, we find ourselves trying to "save" someone who struggles emotionally because we can see their potential and want to help them realize it, and instead end up feeling like we are being dragged down with them. Is it better to cut these people out of our lives and get on with things? Maybe, maybe not. But, there is a way to approach how we interact with them that tends to mostly take care of the decision for us.

When you know someone who is treading in dark waters, but who isn't actually reaching out for help, first and foremost, don't try to reach down and pull them into your boat, so to speak. Trying to save another 


 
 
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"Impermanence is the nature of the human condition."

There is a Zen notion I am rather fond of called wabi sabi. It can be described as a fleeting, imperfect, accidental beauty - unpretentious, simple, and intimate.

It is the weathering of a statue, the nicks of time on furniture, the scarring of old bronze, the crawling of moss on stone, and even the natural aging process of a human being.

It is that last bit, that applies so directly to the experience of being human, that I want to focus on today. Wabi sabi embraces the natural process of growth, decay, and death. It is about accepting the impermanence of everything in life, including life itself.

It may be silly, but when it comes to everyday life, remembering the beauty of wabi sabi can do wonders for relieving stress or disappointment. When your favorite shoes start showing signs of wear and don't look quite so pretty anymore. When you lose an earring. When you look in the mirror on the morning of your 30th birthday and see the first signs of crows feet around your eyes (funny how it seems to work that way, right?). You can fully mourn the loss of what was, while knowing ultimately that it doesn't matter in the big picture, and that nothing is meant to be forever. You can live your human experience to the fullest while knowing that your suffering is not because of impermanence, but because of your reaction to impermanence.

To forget the truth of impermanence is to forget the truth of life. Life is about embracing each moment as it happens, and being able to see the beauty in each of those fleeting, beautiful, perfectly imperfect moments as they are gifted to you.

From the studio of
Neelou Saleh
Licensed Massage Therapist
Kingwood, TX
www.spiritoflotus.com